CinemaSins: Everything Wrong with The Land Before Time
by Alex Popp
Summary: We count all the sins of an epic masterpiece of animation.


I'm thinking about what other movies I could do another Nostalgia Critic fanfic on, but for the time being, I thought I'd write one for another cinema comedy show. I decided to do one for CinemaSins on a movie series I think they'll probably never do. I thought it'd be fun to do it on a film series that I've loved for as long as I can remember, and know like the back of my hand. So I'm starting with everything wrong with my favorite animated movie of all time.

* * *

Everything Wrong with The Land Before Time

In 5 minutes or less

Spoilers!

(duh)

"Once upon this same earth...in the time of the dinosaurs."

**That's not what the Bible says. (ding)**

**Newborn knows the word 'momma' cliche. (ding)**

"Some of the young seemed born without fear."

**Good example, showing us a hatchling who has absolutely no fear of lightning. (ding)**

**That is one flexible egg shell. (ding)**

"Yet, even hatching could be dangerous."

**Why? Do the egg stealing dinosaurs only try to steal eggs at the moment they begin to hatch? I'd try and snatch them 30 days earlier. (ding)**

**The egg shell is both super flexible and super tough. (ding)**

**And the award for the most unintentionally slow head turn goes to...Littlefoot's mother. (ding)**

**Cera goes through the same movement she did when chasing the insect. (ding)**

"Mother, what's a longneck?"

**A neck that is long, Littlefoot. You answered your own question. (ding)**

"We all keep to our own kind. The threehorns, the spiketails, the swimmers, the flyers."

**Littlefoot's mother coincidentally lists off every species that Littlefoot befriends by the end of this movie. (ding)**

**How can apatosaurs sleep like ostriches? (ding)**

**Tyrannosaurs can't jump like that. (ding)**

**What time period is this anyway? Evolutionists say that apatosaurus lived in the Jurassic Period, and tyrannosaurus and triceratops lived in the Cretaceous. (ding)**

**That doesn't really look like a mark from the bite of a t-rex. (ding)**

**The earthquake occurs at the moment that the t-rex attacks. Damn, forget about coincidental convenience; this is coincidental inconvenience. (ding)**

**Littlefoot's mother turns her head really slowly, but can move it forward fast enough to save Littlefoot and Cera when they start to fall from a cliff. (ding)**

"Mother! Mother, where are you?"

**We interrupt this prehistoric kids movie to bring you Bambi. (ding)**

"Mother...mother..."

**I'm sorry, I just...I...ah, s*it. Remove 5 sins. (five reversed dings)**

"Why did I wander so far from home?"

**Where was home? You've been journeying to the Great Valley ever since you hatched. (ding)**

"That too will go in time, little fella. Only in time."

**And I will leave just like that in no time. (ding)**

"I'm am not a longneck. I am a big mouth."

**Ducky would be good at CinemaSins. (ding)**

"Don't step on a crack, or you'll fall and break your back."

**Actually, the phrase is "You'll break your mother's back", but we don't want any reminders of what happened before. (ding)**

"The tree is talking."

**Is it a pea tree? (ding)**

**The t-rex didn't die from the fall. (ding)**

"You're tearing my treestar!"

"It is very special. Very. His mother gave it to him."

**How did Ducky know that? Littlefoot didn't mention it to her before meeting Petrie. Did I miss a scene? (ding)**

(Ducky falls into the area where Spike's egg is)

"Ducky!"

**Wow. That was good paying attention to detail with hearing Littlefoot call Ducky's name. (reversed ding)**

"I smell...I smell...hmm. Ducky."

**That was rude. (ding)**

"I smell water."

**How do you smell fresh water? (ding)**

(Petrie squeezes his entire body really thin for a brief second)

"Me hungry all the way to the top."

**Quite literally. (ding)**

"Many things cannot fly. Rocks, trees, sticks, Spike."

**Ducky gives examples of everything within their sight. (ding)**

(Petrie's teeth chatter)

**Uh, pteranodon means "winged and toothless". (ding)**

**One member of the gang is fat and loves to eat cliche. (ding)**

**Every single scrap of food is suddenly down in a single cut. (ding)**

"I can get my own green food."

**Wasn't the tree that the other climbed the only one around that had leaves on it? (ding)**

**Okay, yeah, I guess it's about time. Cera is a brat. (ding)**

"Sharptooth."

"Cera, stop it!"

**How can Littlefoot not hear those roars? Sure, his ears are miniscule, but so are Cera's. (ding)**

**The t-rex is a dick to Littlefoot's treestar. (ding)**

**The t-rex makes the same bulls*it jump he did when he leapt out of the thorns. (ding)**

"The rock that looks like a longneck."

**I wouldn't count on it, Littlefoot. The tail is missing. (ding)**

**Good detail with the longneck rock in the background, but the wall that saved them from the t-rex is missing. (ding)**

**Fastest deceasing winds ever. (ding)**

**That sounded like an eagle screech. Are they evolving already? (ding)**

**What's with cubic shape of those rocks? (ding)**

**Tar Monster Ex Machina. (ding)**

**How did they get out of the tar pit, anyway? (ding)**

"Cera was still too proud to admit that she'd gone the wrong way."

**Hello, we can see that. F*cking narrators. (ding)**

(the t-rex appears from behind Ducky while she saw him leave in front of her)

**Where'd he come from? (ding)**

**The t-rex wipes his nose in the same way that he did when he rose out of the thorns. (ding)**

"Cera! You're back!"

**Littlefoot's mouth didn't move when he said that. (ding)**

**It looks like a character is dead...oh wait, he's not cliche. (ding)**

**I know this is because this scene was originally meant to come earlier in the movie, but that rock is still there. (ding)**

(Cera runs to her father)

**Cera goes through the same motion she did twice at the beginning of the movie. (ding)**

(Credits: The Land Before Time Directed by Don Bluth)

**Congratulations, Don. You really got me. (two reversed dings)**

**Movie Sin Tally: 42**

**Sentence: ****A Hike with Cera**


End file.
